Online dating vs speed dating – which is better?
The explosion of online dating apps – tinder, okCupid, POF – have made it very easy to literally sit in your living swiping through profiles for potential romantic interests and matches. When I lived in Toronto, I dabbled into the world of online dating, which I had little to no success. At the time (i.e. 2010), I was in college and was looking to try new things and get more dates. So, I created a profile on lavelife, uploaded some pictures, and quickly wrote up a description. I had a few chats with some interesting conversations, but all in all, I consider the attempt a failure, mostly due to my inexperience and status as a lanky 20-year-old student looking for hot girls outside of my league. Eventually, my interest fizzled out and I gave up on online dating.
Fast forward four more years to 2014, I decided to try out speed dating, which I thought to be an easy way to network and meet eligible singles. I signed up and paid for a speed dating event, which cost about $25. On the day of the event, I dressed up in a business casual attire and got to the venue about 15 minutes early as recommended. I was pleasantly surprised with the turnout and quality of the women – some were doctors, nurses, marketers, etc. I did not get a match, but it was a nice experience to chat with about 10 women in a single night.
After I moved to the U.S, in 2015, I tried speed dating in Houston, and I got a match this time. The experience was like the first speed dating experience – some very attractive women and some not so attractive women. However, I got a match and was happy with the overall experience of the event. Dating in Houston is a bit different from dating in Toronto or any other major city. If you are going to try speed dating Houston singles, I highly encourage you to check out “Speed Dating Houston: Five Tips for Men” and/or “Houston Speed Dating: Five Tips for Women.”
A few months after trying speed dating in Houston, I saw a friend using okCupid app on her iPhone. I had heard about some of the popular dating apps, but had only tried tinder. She was getting a lot of likes and messages, but complained that a lot of the guys are creepy, unattractive, and old. Hearing that “a lot of the guys are creepy, unattractive, and old” got me interested and made me feel like I had a better shot against the “creepy, unattractive, and old” guys. Plus, my physique has improved a lot from college days. I now workout regularly, have built some muscle, and I am no longer lanky. In addition, I am more confident in leading and holding conversations with women. So, I created an account on okCupid, uploaded some decent pictures, and started swiping. Without going into details, I was pleasantly surprised and I can say that online dating works for me.
Online dating opens you up for judgement by other people you have never met. Strictly speaking, online dating is not for everyone. If you fit within society’s definition of attractiveness and standard of beauty, it will definitely work for you. If you deviate from the definition and standard, you would probably have a hard time succeeding with online dating. On the other hand, speed dating brings you one step closer to potential matches in person and provides people with other criteria to judge you by. In other words, in speed dating, someone may fall in love with your personality and intellect, even though they don’t find you physically attractive. However, I think that speed dating is more expensive than online dating, which is usually free on various dating apps (e.g. tinder, bumble, happn, etc.)
So which one is better? It depends on the individual. What works for you may not work for another person. You could try both, but consider the pros and cons, and do not get discouraged if you find it difficult to get a match.